“Crypto Traders Don’t Read” — A Lie From the Pit of Hell

Who started this rumour? Please rest. Whoever it was has clearly never met a real Nigerian crypto person. Because let’s be honest, crypto people read everything. And we mean everything.

Put us in front of a K-drama or Money Heist, and watch our eyes fly across that screen. And don’t talk while we’re reading o! We’ll pause the movie and say, “Abeg, rewind. I missed that line.” Because yes, we must understand why she slapped him.

We read lyrics, too! You think it’s just vibes in the club? Nah. That guy nodding to TML? He’s mentally editing the lyrics for Instagram captions. That babe dancing to Ayra Starr? She already read the lyrics, memorized them, and is about to drop a think piece on how empowered women make the best art.

We read memes deeply. We zoom in to read the WhatsApp chat in the meme. We check the handle of the tweet it came from. We even read the watermark of the meme plug. We read trends, gist, gossip, market charts, and heartbreak tweets. No lies here. We read the market. We read people. We read our ex’s new caption like:

“Wait, who’s the ‘he’ in ‘he treats me right’?”

Crypto traders especially know how to read red flags, both in the market and in relationships. And if we’re being honest, some of us write too. Ever seen a crypto guy in love? He becomes Pablo Neruda. Let him get dumped? Boom! Full spoken-word poet:

“My heart dumped like Ethereum in a bear market.”
“Her love was a rug pull, and I didn’t even set a stop loss.”

These are not unserious people. We are the readers, the watchers, the trendsetters, the analysts, the meme lords. Crypto bros and sis are the culture.

But you know the one thing we don’t like to read?
“Pending transaction…”
“Withdrawal in progress…”
“We’re processing your request. Please wait…”

Nobody has that time. When we want to convert crypto to cash, we don’t want ‘stories’. We want speed. Accuracy. Zero wahala. That’s why smart crypto people use Divest.

Read This Carefully:
DIVEST Is The Plug if you want to convert that crypto into local currency or swap cash into crypto for your next trade.

Divest lets you:

• Convert crypto to cash (fast)
• Move crypto into money (instantly)
• Run your crypto bank account across Africa
• Be that guy/girl that always has cash, not just coins

So, crypto bro and sis, let them lie, we know you read because you read up till this point. Now download the DIVEST app for a better experience converting your crypto to cash.